


In Reality

by girldevil



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-03
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-30 13:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girldevil/pseuds/girldevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yoochun was caught in a bind and had to make a decision for himself. He thought he was sure about it but at the end, things happened differently. A story about marriage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Reality

He stood outside by the door of his house. He has been standing there for the past few minutes, gathering his guts to open the door. He came home to tell his wife the news that he had no intention of telling at the first place. However, he was in a bind and was forced to make a decision. He made his decision after contemplating and what’s left to do was to break the news to his wife.

He placed his hand on the doorknob and twisted it open. He was greeted with the sight of a warm home, lighted up with warm lights and he could smell the food from the kitchen.

“You’re home early!” his wife poked out from the wall corner, greeting with a big smile.

‘This would probably be the last time I will see that smile…’ he thought sadly as he removed his coat and placed it on the counter.

“How was work?”

“The usual, long and boring,” he replied and looked around. He frowned when there was something missing.

“Where is-?”

“Daddy!” 

He turned around and saw their son running towards him, with his arms wide open.

“You’re home daddy!” his son exclaimed, too happily.

“Yes I’m home,” he smiled, somewhat bitterly.

‘I don’t want to do this…’ he thought as he picked up his 4-year-old son into his arms.

“Dinner will be ready soon. Go play with Inhwan first, he missed you the whole time,” his wife ushered them to the living room. He sighed and picked up the toy that was lying on the floor. It was a dolphin stuffed toy that he gave for Inhwan’s 3rd birthday.

“Daddy?” Inhwan placed his hands under his chin and cupped his face.

He smiled and handed the dolphin stuffed toy to Inhwan, who accepted it eagerly and hugged it with his small arms around it.

Shortly after, his wife called to them, telling that dinner was ready. Inhwan jumped down from the couch and ran to the kitchen.

“Wash hands first before eating!” Inhwan exclaimed as he pulled the small step stool and climbed up on it to reach the sink.

“You’re such a good boy baby,” his wife chuckled and bent down to give Inhwan a kiss on the cheek.

They sat down and started with their dinner. He glanced up and down at his wife, wondering when is the right time to break the news.

‘No…I must wait until Inhwan is in bed,’ he contemplated.

He ate his dinner silently, listening attentively to Inhwan’s lively chatters about a new friend he made from the neighborhood. 

When dinner ended, he helped Inhwan get ready for bed while his wife cleared the table. He picked up Inhwan and tucked him in, along with his dolphin stuffed toy.

“Daddy?” Inhwan’s small voice called to him when he was about to leave the room.

“Yes baby?” he asked.

“I love you daddy,” Inhwan said and yawned.

He felt his heart breaking. He could no longer do this to his family.

‘No backing out, you already made your decision!’ he reminded himself.

“I love you too, sleep well my baby,” he smiled and closed the door behind him. 

 

“Is Inhwan asleep already?”

He came back downstairs with a folder and found his wife sitting on the couch with a cup of hot tea in hand.

“Yeah, he fell asleep as soon as I left the room,” he said and took a seat on the armchair.

‘It is now or never. I must get over it now.’

“Junsu…”

“Hmmm…what is it?” Junsu asked, taking small sips of his tea.

“I have something to say,” he said and opened the folder, pulling out a few sheets of paper.

“This…I want a divorce,” he finally said the words he never dared to tell Junsu.

Junsu looked up at him from the divorce papers, too calmly for his liking.

“Why?” Junsu asked, his voice almost like a whisper.

He didn’t answer. That made Junsu angry. Junsu threw the teacup into the wall and it shattered into small broken pieces.

“Why? Give me a damn answer!” Junsu yelled, with his hands fisted together.

He could hardly give him a satisfactory answer; he had fallen in love with someone else and only stayed with Junsu out of pity.

Junsu wept. 

He left Junsu alone in the living room and went to the guest room. He sat down on the bed and glanced down on his wedding ring.

‘I’m sorry Junsu…I do love you but I love Jaejoong more.’

 

The next day, he woke up and quickly got ready for work. He wondered if Junsu was able to calm down and at the thought of the latter, he started feeling guilty.

He went downstairs and found Junsu in the dining room, writing.

“Junsu?” 

Junsu paid no attention and continued writing.

“Junsu? Aren’t you going to take Inhwan to school?”

Junsu still ignored him.

He decided it was best that he’ll take Inhwan to school instead. He went back upstairs and found Inhwan getting dressed. He grabbed a small bag and packed some clothes for Inhwan; he decided that Inhwan would have to stay with his younger brother for today as Junsu was unresponsive and might be erratic.

 

They went downstairs, Junsu was still writing.

Yoochun let out a deep sigh, “I’ll take Inhwan to school and then take him to Changmin after school and let him spend the night there,” he informed his soon to be ex-wife and still earned no response. He gave up on waiting for a response and headed out of the house with Inhwan on his trail.

“Am I staying with Uncle Changmin?” Inhwan asked.

“Yes,” Yoochun said while he opened the door of the car and settled Inhwan in the backseat and buckled the seatbelt. 

“Why am I staying with Uncle Changmin, daddy?” Inhwan asked softly when Yoochun got into the driver’s seat.

“Don’t you want to play with Uncle Changmin, Uncle Minho and Taemin?”

“I do but…I want to play with you and Papa more!” Inhwan exclaimed and showed his toothless front teeth grin.

He took a deep breath and let it out. It was becoming too difficult for him.

‘Why can’t I have both? Why is it this difficult? Why? Why did I have to be involved with Jaejoong in the first place? Why?’

 

After he dropped Inhwan off at the preschool, he pulled his mobile out from his pocket and dialed Changmin’s number. He explained to Changmin about his current situation and he could tell that his brother was very disappointed. 

The day went on. He went to his office. When lunch break came, he left to pick up Inhwan and drove to Changmin’s place. Changmin opened the door and Yoochun could tell that his brother felt like strangling him. Changmin and Junsu have been best friends and that was how everything started. 

“I will never forgive you hyung. I told you before that if you hurt Junsu again, I’m not going to make it easy for you. You hurt him once before, you hurt him again now. Just because I am your brother, doesn’t mean that you are an exception. Get out of my sight now because I don’t want to kill you in front of Inhwan,” Changmin hissed dangerously close to Yoochun.

“Have a good time okay?” he bent down to Inhwan’s height and gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving, without saying anything to Changmin.

He drove back to his office and found Jaejoong waiting for him, with packed lunch. He told Jaejoong that he had already told Junsu about the divorce.

“What did Junsu say?” Jaejoong asked

“Junsu only asked me why and that’s it. He didn’t talk to me this morning and I had to take Inhwan to school,” he replied as he sat down on his desk.

Jaejoong hummed and walked towards behind Yoochun’s chair and wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s shoulders.

“I’m glad you chose me,” Jaejoong said smugly and kissed him fully on the lips.

 

When he came home later that night after spending dinner at Jaejoong’s place, he was greeted with a dark house. No lights were on at all and it suddenly felt too cold and foreign.

“I have been waiting for you.”

He almost jumped out of his skin and turned his head around. Junsu was sitting in the living room with the moonlight as the source of light and he could see Junsu’s silhouette. 

He turned on the light and Junsu winced at the sudden intrusion of the light. Junsu kept his tired eyes closed until he adjusted his eyes to the light.

He took a seat on the couch and waited patiently for Junsu to speak.

“I will agree to the divorce,” Junsu said calmly, his hands placed on his own knees and looked up at Yoochun, “but I have conditions.”

He didn’t realize he has been holding his breath when Junsu agreed. Part of him felt happy and yet, a part of him felt sad. He had been with Junsu for ten years but only been married for five years.

“I don’t want anything else from you except for this. You have to stay with me for two months before I can let you go. It’s nearly Inhwan’s birthday and I want us to live our lives as normal as possible. Can you do that?” 

He nodded his head, finding the conditions agreeable. 

“One more thing,” Junsu said

“What?”

“Do you recall how you carried me into our room on our wedding night? I want you to do that from our bedroom door to the front door every morning for the duration of two months.”

He found it absurd but eventually gave in, as it was only a request and wanted to make their remaining days bearable.

 

The next day, he carried Junsu in bridal form for the first time in five years and it was awkward. He put Junsu down by the front door before he turned around to head to his car and drove off to his office. 

During lunch break, Jaejoong came over again with packed lunch. He told him about Junsu’s condition and Jaejoong laughed at its absurdity.

“Just remember, you’re still going through with that divorce and you will be mine soon.” 

Just then, his mobile rang and he glanced at the called ID. It was Junsu calling him.

Jaejoong raised his brows as he answered it, “what is it Junsu?”

“Can you pick up Inhwan from Changmin’s later? I need to finish up some work and I doubt I’ll be done early,”

“Oh, okay. Sure,” he replied 

“Thank you Yoochun…”

He quickly hung up and glanced at Jaejoong, who has a questioning look.

“Junsu asked me to pick up Inhwan later,” he explained.

“So you can’t come over after work?” Jaejoong asked

He shook his head and said, “not today,” much to Jaejoong’s disappointment.

 

After he picked up Inhwan, they headed home and found Junsu preparing dinner in the kitchen.

“I thought you said you will be late?” he asked.

“I tried to finish everything earlier and need to prepare dinner. I missed you Inhwan, how was your stay at Uncle Changmin’s?” Junsu asked as he bent down to pick up Inhwan into his arm and hugged him.

“It was fun but I like being with you and daddy more!” Inhwan hugged Junsu back.

He could see the disheartening look on Junsu’s face. 

“Yes, me too baby. I like being with you and your daddy too, so much,” Junsu smiled, fighting back the tears as he said the last words softly.

“Go wash up first and I’ll call you when dinner is ready, okay baby?” Junsu said and Inhwan nodded his head happily and dashed upstairs to his room.

“Junsu…”

“What is it?” Junsu quickly wiped his eyes dry and faced him, with a smile on his face.

He couldn’t say anything. He only stared at Junsu, and thought for a while before shaking his head.

“Just call me when dinner is ready,” he said and went to his study.

‘Dear God, give me strength to go on for the next two months.’

 

The second day, he carried Junsu down to the front door and before he could put Junsu down, Inhwan was jumping up and down.

“Waa! Daddy is carrying Papa! Daddy, will you carry me too?” 

Junsu blushed at the thought of being caught by their son and he leaned forward on Yoochun’s chest.

“Please don’t tell him about the divorce,” Junsu said softly and he agreed.

 

On the third day, he felt a sense of intimacy returning. On the forth day, he realized what kind of cologne Junsu wears. On the fifth day and sixth day, it was no longer awkward and their sense of intimacy was growing again. He did not tell Jaejoong about it and soon the first month was over. 

It was the second month and Inhwan’s birthday was just around the corner. He went upstairs and found Junsu looking through his clothes.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Junsu looked up with tired eyes and for the first time, he realized he had not known what kind of pain Junsu has been going through. He has been selfish of his own feelings and forgot about the latter and his son’s feelings. He only cared about Jaejoong and himself and their future. 

“I can’t find anything to wear,” Junsu said, wearily.

He frowned at the clothes on the bed, and looked at Junsu’s form. Junsu has been loosing weight constantly and that was why carrying him was not such a hassle.

“It seemed that all of my clothes became too big for me to wear,” Junsu picked up the khaki pants before dropping it.

‘Junsu…how badly have you been hurting inside? How much pain and bitterness are you holding in from me? I’m sorry Junsu…’

“Daddy! Daddy! It’s time to carry Papa!” Inhwan burst into the room. To Inhwan, seeing him carry Junsu became an essential part of his life as it made him happy. Junsu gestured Inhwan to come closer and gave their son a tight hug. 

He had to turn away; it was getting too hard to watch, as he will be leaving them soon. 

When Junsu finally got dressed, he held Junsu in his arms and walked down the stairs with ease. Junsu’s arms were around his neck and he held him tightly, just like on their wedding night. 

Junsu’s weight was starting to make him worry. And lately, Junsu hasn’t been looking good either; he has been pale and sometimes he would have no energy to prepare dinner. 

“I will go shopping for Inhwan’s birthday,” Junsu informed him as he put Junsu down.

“Do you need me to do anything?” he asked with concern in his voice.

Junsu gave him a small smile and shook his head, “I got everything taken care of, except for the cake. What kind of cake should we get for him?”

“Leave the cake to me, I’ll take care of it,” he insisted.

“Oh, okay. Come on Inhwan, it’s time for school,” Junsu held out his hand for Inhwan to take. 

He watched the both of them leave, until they were out of sight.

‘Why does it hurt? Why is it becoming unbearable to see them leave? Why?’ he questioned himself before he got into his car and headed off to work.

 

It was the day of Inhwan’s birthday party. Junsu had gotten everything ready and guests will be arriving soon. 

He had gotten a 2 layered cake covered in blue icing, as it was Inhwan’s favorite color, with a miniature dolphin on top of it. Inhwan squealed in delight when he saw the cake and could not wait to keep the miniature dolphin to himself.

The doorbell rang and Changmin, along with Minho and Taemin were the first to arrive. Despite Changmin’s disappointment, Junsu has already talked to Changmin about it and told him not to hold the grudge against Yoochun.

More guests started arriving and Junsu had to entertain the guests while Inhwan was playing with the kids.

“Be glad I’m not going to butcher you alive hyung,” Changmin stood beside him as they watched their sons play with each other.

“Changmin…”

“I won’t say that I am happy about it. Junsu loves you so much, to the point that he was willing to let you go, for your own happiness. Even if we can see how much he is hurting deep inside…would you be able to have someone like him ever again?”

He glanced around and found Junsu laughing with Minho and another friend. Junsu was all smiles despite the hurt inside and for the first time, his emotions were being greatly wavered. Just how many spouses in the whole world are willing to endure two months without complaining or argue about their divorce? How many spouses are just as willing as Junsu, to give away their own husband for their happiness? 

He was lost with himself. For the past month and a half, he had found himself falling in love once again with his own wife and Jaejoong was suddenly at the back of his head. 

He could not do this anymore. He could no longer hurt his wife and son. He did not want Inhwan hating him for leaving them behind. 

“I…I love Junsu…” he said, feeling his eyes getting heavy with tears.

Changmin gave him a bitter smile, “you just realized that now?”

He shook his head, “I have always loved him but…”

“But you love the other one more?” Changmin said.

“They are somewhat almost the same…except Jaejoong is more spontaneous and wild while Junsu is organized and tamed. There were times I could see each other in both of them and Jaejoong…”

“Hyung, I understand but it was still not right. You chose Jaejoong but what about now? Who do you want? Who do you really love? Who do you truly want to spend your lifetime with? Because once this is over with Junsu, there is no more turning back,” Changmin said.

He instantly grabbed his car keys from the kitchen while Changmin yelled at him to come back. He quickly went over to his car and started the engine and put the car into drive. He stepped on the gas pedal and made his way to Jaejoong’s place.

He ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. Jaejoong answered the door after few minutes and was surprised to see him panting.

“What is it Yoochun?” Jaejoong asked, with worry in his voice.

“I can’t do this,” he said as he took deep breaths, “I can’t do this to Junsu anymore. I can’t do the divorce,”

Jaejoong frowned and placed his hand on the forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?”

“I’m serious Jae, I love Junsu. I have always loved Junsu-”

Jaejoong punched him on the face, “you…so now you decide to pick him over me? What the fuck?! Get the fuck out of here and I don’t want to ever see you again! Screw you Park Yoochun!” and he slammed the door close.

He winced in pain and felt his nose; it was bleeding and broken. 

‘But this is nothing compared to what Junsu must have been feeling…don’t worry Junsu, I’m coming back to you,’ he thought happily as he made his way down the stairs and got into his car.

He decided to stop by the nearest clinic to have his nose checked before returning home. When he stepped into the clinic, his mobile went off and the nurses gave him glares. He quickly took out his mobile from his pocket and turned it off.

He had his nose clean and bandaged and was ready to leave. When he stepped out of the clinic, he saw a flower shop across the street and saw Junsu’s favorite flower on display.

He crossed the street and purchased a bouquet of lilies for Junsu. He smiled to himself, feeling carefree, as his burden has been released from his shoulders. He remembered that he turned off his phone; Junsu and Changmin might have been worried since he just left the house like that. He turned his mobile on and suddenly tons of messages came in.

Before he had the chance to read the messages, his mobile rang and Changmin’s name was blinking on the screen.

“Changmin? What is it?” he answered

“Where the hell have you been?!” Changmin yelled and he had to pull his mobile away from his ear.

“I took care of something with Jaejoong and-”

“Hyung, you need to get here now! Junsu collapsed and we brought him to the hospital,” Changmin cut him off.

 

He ran inside, quickly finding his way to the ER and found Changmin, Minho, Taemin and Inhwan waiting outside.

“Daddy!” Inhwan cried as soon as he saw him and ran towards him. 

“It’s okay baby, don’t cry. Papa is strong,” he picked up Inhwan into his arms and comforted him.

“What happened Changmin? What did the doctor say?” he asked, worriedly.

“The doctor hasn’t said anything yet. They’re still checking on him,” Changmin filled him up.

They waited for a little bit longer before the doctor came out.

“Which one of you is the husband?” the doctor asked.

“I am,” he took a step forward.

“Please come with me,” the doctor said and from the look of his face, it doesn’t look good.

He handed Inhwan to Minho and followed the doctor inside the room.

“How is he?” he asked as they stood outside Junsu’s room.

The doctor sighed and shook his head, “I have been his doctor for quite some time now. He was diagnosed with cirrhosis six months ago. He was already at the 4th stage when we found out and there was nothing we could do about it. I have given him about 3 months to live but I am surprised he made it this far but this is only as how far he can go…I’m sorry Mr. Park, I really wished we could do something to cure him,” the doctor patted his shoulder and opened the door for him.

He couldn’t blink. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. He felt like everything has stopped in time. But his feet moved, on their own and he found himself inside the room. Junsu was lying on the bed, with a hook in his nose to help him breathe. Junsu laid there, so palely in his loose clothes.

‘Why didn’t I notice it before? Why didn’t I pay more attention to him? Why? Was this the reason why he made those conditions so that in front of Inhwan, I was a loving husband and that there would be no negative comments about the divorce? Was it the reason why he asked me to carry him...to savor the last of our marriage? Junsu…why have you gone through this all alone?’

“Junsu…why?” he spoke, softly but with bitterness. He grabbed Junsu’s hand and held it close. “Please baby, please wake up,” he begged as he cried silently.

“Please open your eyes! I have something to tell you, please wake up,” his tears trailed down his cheeks as Junsu made no motions.

“I told Jaejoong that I don’t want to do the divorce anymore…I want you. I have always wanted you and I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry for hurting you…Junsu please wake up!” he cried as more tears continued to flow.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Junsu…I’m so sorry I was late…I love you Junsu. I always loved you, please I’m begging you to open your eyes…please…”

“I will always love you…” 

He gasped as he saw Junsu smiling at him with unshed tears in his eyes. 

“Thank you love,” and Junsu closed his eyes for the last time and his hand dropped from his husband’s grasp.

“Junsu! No! Junssuu!”

 

 

“What the hell Park Yoochun! Wake up!”

He woke up with a jolt and blinked his eyes rapidly.

“It was a dream?” he panted as he held his chest, he could feel his heart beating rhythmically fast.

“You have been screaming out my name and kept apologizing for the past minutes, what the hell was that about?” 

Junsu was right in front of him, with his arms folded together and an apron tied around his waist.

“You’re alive…you’re alive!” he exclaimed and hugged Junsu, almost pulling him back down on the bed.

“Yah! Yoochun! Let me go!” Junsu cried, trying to get out of his husband’s grasp.

“No! Never ever! I’m never ever going to let you go and no man can take me away from you!” he tightened his hold around Junsu’s waist.

“Yoochun! Let me go, I can’t breathe!” Junsu complained and he loosened his hold.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” he apologized.

Junsu chuckled and wrapped his arms around the neck, “mind telling me what was your dream about? You sounded so desperate, was it a bad dream?”

“I don’t want to think about it but it felt so real…Inhwan…Changmin…Jaejoong…and you died!”

“Inhwan? Changmin, I can understand since he’s my brother but who is Jaejoong? How did I die?” Junsu asked curiously.

“Inhwan’s our son and Jaejoong…uh please I don’t want to remember. Please hug me, I still haven’t gotten over that shock, it was totally paralyzing,” but Junsu made no move.

“Su?” he frowned as he noticed Junsu’s worried expression.

“I have something to tell you…” Junsu spoke with hesitant in his voice.

“What is it?” he asked, and his eyes widened, “oh no…don’t tell me you have cancer?”

Junsu gaped at him, “was that the reason why I died? Aw…you must have been too traumatized,” Junsu chuckled and hugged him, “and no, I don’t have cancer so I’m not leaving you anytime soon.”

“Good! So now what was it you wanted to tell me?”

“Uhm…I don’t know how it happened but…”

“But...?”

“I’m…I’m pregnant,” Junsu said.

He gaped. Then he blinked. Then he squealed.

“Oh my God! I’m going to be a daddy!” he exclaimed with his arms up in the air.

“I take it you’re not angry?” Junsu asked slowly.

“Junsu! Why will I be angry? It’s the best news ever!” he pulled Junsu close to him and kissed him hard on the lips.

“I love you so much Park Junsu, do you know that?”

“Urg greaseball, stop it!” Junsu pretended to shudder but he laughed, “I love you too baby,” Junsu hugged him before letting go.

“Is that the doorbell?” Junsu asked, when they heard chimes.

They got up from bed and went down the stairs to the front door. Junsu opened the door and was greeted by the sight of two men. 

He gasped when he recognized one of them.

“Hello! We just moved right next door and we’re your new neighbors. I’m Jung Yunho and this is my wife, Jung Jaejoong-“

He instantly closed the door.

“Yoochun! You’re so rude! Why did you close the door?” Junsu scolded.

“It’s Jaejoong! Oh my God, Jaejoong is real!”

 

-end-


End file.
